


Percy Doesn't Like Banisters

by RurouniHime



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: First Kiss, Humor, M/M, Temptation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-22
Updated: 2011-07-22
Packaged: 2017-10-21 16:10:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/227089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RurouniHime/pseuds/RurouniHime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(see title)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Percy Doesn't Like Banisters

Oliver Wood's banister was bothering Percy Weasley.

He'd tried walking past it repeatedly. He'd tried turning his nose up at the blasted thing and following Oliver and his family down the stairs, laughing gaily and possibly a bit too loudly. They were going to the _lake_. Oliver's family had a delightful _cabin_ to show him, and Percy had no time for ridiculous banisters, certainly.

But apparently, the banister had other ideas.

The happy chatter of the Wood family faded down through the house. Oliver turned and gestured for Percy to follow him as he opened the front door to accompany his parents outside. "Coming, Percy? We're just about to Portkey."

"I've just forgotten my bag upstairs, I'll only be a moment."

Oliver nodded, a wide, lopsided grin on his handsome face. Then the door clicked shut and Percy was alone at last, glaring at that blasted banister. It was quite a lovely shade of polished burgundy, long and narrow, winding just a bit as it traced the stairs from second to first floor.

"You can stop trying to tempt me," Percy sniffed. "Only my ridiculous twin brothers would be childish enough to be bothered with the likes of you."

The banister said nothing. Which was quite beginning to annoy Percy, how smug it thought it was. He strode forward, laying his hand on it and mounting the stairs. "This is what you are good for, assisting me as I ascend to the second floor. You've no other purpose, I assure you."

The banister remained silent as Percy climbed haughtily up the stairs, pressing upon it quite liberally in order to demonstrate properly. But once he got to the top…

"No. I will _not_ do it."

The banister gleamed merrily back at him in the sunlight of the upstairs windows. Percy pursed his lips disapprovingly. He crossed his arms over his chest, trying to settle himself down. "I do not slide down banisters."

But it just looked so smooth and inviting. Percy could feel himself getting antsy. _Just do it,_ a voice whispered. _No one will ever know, especially not those foolish carbon copies of each other, and it's been so long since you've done it, ever since that time at Mrs. Figg's house, and there are certainly no cats to run over here…_ Percy tried valiantly to hold on, to remember that he now had a job at the _Ministry_ , and that Fudge most likely _never_ rode down banisters on his stomach, but it was just so smooth and glossy and gently winding…

Before Percy knew it, he had slung one leg over the banister and leaned down, facing the bottom of the stairs. He'd seen Fred and George do it this way loads of times, and there was a rug at the bottom anyway, and the Woods were waiting for him and—

Percy barely had time for this own shocked gasp. The first floor was coming up much faster than anticipated and the air was quite delightful rushing over his face he was making some sort of noise like a wail but that couldn't be right because he was Percy Weasley there was a face in his vision "Percy are you quite ready to— Bloody hell!" a surprised shout oh gods a body stumbling backwards and Percy shot off the end of the banister and bowled the person right over, landing smack onto the carpet nose to nose and quite on top of—

Oliver Wood.

Percy blinked. Oliver blinked. The banister did nothing.

Oliver cocked his head at Percy curiously, looked over his shoulder at the offending stairway railing, and then stared intently at Percy again. "Percy Weasley, were you just… sliding down my banister?"

Of all the notions. Percy did his best to sniff importantly. "Absolutely not."

"I distinctly saw you sliding down my banister."

"Rubbish," Percy scoffed in a very well-to-do, very shaky tone of voice. "It's nonsense."

Oliver's rather nice eyebrows shot up. "Excuse me? Nonsense?"

"Yes, nonsense. Obviously. Because…" Percy cast about desperately for a reason, then smirked in what he hoped was a superior manner and pointed an accusatory finger at Oliver's nose. "Well. If _you_ saw me sliding down the banister, then how it is that… you didn't leap out of the way? How is it that you are lying on the ground in such a ridiculous manner?" he finished with a flourish.

Oliver screwed up his face. "Because you bloody well flew off the end of the banister and flattened me, you great twat!"

Percy shook his head at the silliness being exhibited by his obviously confused friend. "I'll have you know that I've no need or desire to slide down rickety old banisters like some sort of—"

"You calling my banister rickety?" Oliver was glaring now. Percy flushed, took a deep breath, and flushed some more when he realized he was still lying there flushing and stuttering and getting far too warm for comfort on top of a very muscular, very taut, very God of the Quidditch Pitch body.

"No, no, not rickety! Your banister is fine, Oliver. In marvelously good shape. Very toned— um, _teak_."

Oliver quirked an eyebrow. "Oh, then my banister's not strong enough for you, is that it?"

Percy became aware of Oliver's hands flat and heavy against his back and began to stutter even more. "No, it's plenty strong! Not that I would know. I'm sure it's quite sturdy. I—I'm sure that if one _were_ to slide down it, then—um—"

Oliver raised one knee, bringing it up between Percy's legs. The redhead choked off suddenly.

"I'm ashamed of you, Percy Weasley. Never thought you were the kind of bloke who would slide down another man's banister and then insult the ride."

"Oh— gods no— oh, I'm not. I mean, it's a very nice banister. And, and I'm sure the r-ride is very nice indeed— Oh gods." Oliver just would not hold _still_. His slim, angular hips, his gorgeous, strong hands, that leg, ohgodtthatleg— Percy swallowed.

"What was that, Percy?" Oliver's voice was very low. "Something else to say about my banister?"

Percy's eyes flew wide as he came into contact with something not entirely dissimilar to the object in question. "Y—your b-banister—?"

"Just shut up about my banister and kiss me, Weasley."

Percy did shut up about Oliver's banister. For a little while, at least.

~fin~


End file.
